Searching For The Still Quiet Voice

If I talk of 'noise' you would probably think, as I did, of the sounds that we hear around us - the exercise of the sense of hearing. But my realisation recently, during a time of prayer with my 'Blazin' Saddles' accountability group was that actually I am really not very good at creating the space and silence in my life to hear God's "still and quiet voice" (1 Kings 19 v 12.)

Have you ever tried to sit in complete silence, no sound at all, no music, just silence? But more than that, by silence I mean not doing anything... just being - submitting yourself to God with a prayer "Heavenly father, speak to me guide me!" and then just closing your eyes (to cut out the 'noise' of distraction around you) and waiting in silence. It's hard!... It's really, REALLY hard!!!

If you've been reading my blog you will know I have been seeking God's will for my life. I've been looking for his guidance in my experiences, in the radio I listen to (http://www.premier.org/), in the books that I read and in my relationships with others and the things they say, either as 'words of knowledge' or just simply learning from their stories and life experiences. I've been sitting surrounded by noise - and God HAS spoken to me during those times - but my realisation has been that actually I haven't been submitting completely to Him creating the space, the silence for Him to speak through his "still, quiet voice".

More than that, and as I write this I feel a mixture of shame, embarrassment and stupidity, I have realised just how little time I spend with his Word - The Bible! "Hmmm, the Word of God!" Maybe, just maybe there is a clue there for me in that name for the Bible.

I have returned to my efforts of (re-)reading Jack Deere's book 'Surprised By The Voice of God.' This morning as I lay in the bath (again!) reading I realised that Jesus on the Road to Emmaus (Luke 24 v 13ff) when he met with the disciples after his resurrection, did not simply reveal himself to them and say"Hey guys look it is me!" But rather as he walked with them, he taught them from the scriptures, from Moses through the prophets.

"Jesus was telling us, right from the very beginning of the Church's history, that the primary way he will be known is through the scriptures."

Jack Deere, Surprised by the Voice Of God (p111.)

I have been blessed. so far God has been gracious enough to speak to me through prayer, experience, friends, books, etc. But I think... No... I know that he is saying to me, "Read my word! Immerse yourself in it and I will teach you and guide you".

On a couple of occasions I have tried to just sit in silence and listen. It is SOOOOO hard! Within a minute or two I have found myself distracted, doing something or thinking about something else. My goal is to work on this but to do it with passages of scripture. Read the passage then sit in silence and listen to what God is saying to me.

Bread Of Heaven!

Over the last week I've been asking God, "Are you calling me into a 'tent making' ministry?" Tent making is what the Apostle Paul did to fund himself as he travelled on his missionary journeys. He made and sold tents to give him money for food and sustenance. Is God calling me into a 'tent making' ministry where I do training to earn money to enable me to carry out the ministry he is calling me into?

Yesterday, as I was on my way to deliver training to a Law Firm in London, I saw a friend at London, Victoria station. He was on the phone. As I passed him, I squeezed his arm and said "Hi!". He waved "Hi" back to me and I went on my way. As I continued I thought to myself, "I wonder if he's confused at the fact that I'm here in my business suit obviously on my way to do some training?" A few people I know have misunderstood that I am continuing as a Freelance Trainer, still doing much of the stuff I did before, just without the Business Owner / Directorial / Managerial responsibilities. As I wondered, I found myself imagining him catch up with me and asking, "I thought you'd jacked all this stuff in? How come you're back into it?"



"Bread of heaven!" came my imaginary response. "Hang on!" I thought, "Bread of heaven?! What sort of a response is that?!!!" I immediately found myself racking my brains to understand. "That's a strange response."




My thinking switched. "That is such a strange response! It just isn't the sort of response I would give. So, why did I say it in this imaginary conversation?" (Even later as I recounted this story to my wife she laughed at the answer I had given, "Bread of Heaven!" She agreed that it just isn't the sort of thing I would come up with.)

As I continued to walk through the Station I found myself thinking about the imaginary response. What does "bread of heaven" mean?... Bread of heaven?... Manna... Give us this day our Daily Bread?"

For those of you who know your Old testament stories, you will know that when the Children of Israel were wandering through the wilderness God provided bread for them every day. It was called Manna. They were given clear instructions as to what to do with it. They were told they they should only collect enough Manna for the coming day. Some of the people ignored this and gathered much more than they needed for a day. The next day when they arose, they found that the bread had begun to stink and was full of maggots! On the sixth day they were allowed to collect enough bread for 2 days so that they could rest on the Sabbath. On the 7th day the bread did not stink and was not full of maggots! God provided them with just enough food to sustain them on a day-by-day basis... even to cover the Holy Day.

"That's it!" I thought. "God is telling me that he will provide me with Manna. Daily bread that will keep me and my family. He will sustain us!... WOW!" It is interesting too, to note that when Jesus taught the Disciples to pray he told them to ask, "Give us this day our daily bread." I'm sure the disciples MUST have made the connection with the story of the Children of Israel in the wilderness when he said that.

Then the thought came to me, "Maybe it was God speaking to me through my imagination?" As soon as that thought came to me a warm rush rose up through my body. It wasn't a feeling I was familiar with. "Hmmm, maybe this WAS God's voice speaking to me... through me!" The New Testament tells us that "Young men will have visions and old men will dream dreams" (Acts of The Apostles 2 v 17), and of course Joseph and various other bible characters had dreams and these were interpreted, so clearly God does use the human imagination to speak.

I pondered a little longer, "IF it WAS God, what did He mean, 'Bread of Heaven!' Well, Manna was "bread of heaven! and there's that famous (Welsh) hymn which is all about The Children Of Israel (and our own) walk through the wilderness. Maybe God is saying to me "I will provide your daily bread. Training (which is what I was on my way to do) will be your bread of heaven.

There's a further, broader implication to this whole story that I had not immediately realised when it first occurred, and it relates to the Manna being collected on the 6th day. Reflecting on the story of the Children of Israel being told to collect enough manna on the 6th day for 2 days shows that God prioritised the Holy Day (holiday!) and as a result He made provision for it. Some very kind friends at our Church have offered us the use of their house in the Loire region of France during the summer holidays. Making the decision to go has not been straightforward because August is a quiet month work-wise and we obviously have bills to pay. There is a part of me that cries out saying you must remain available in case any work comes up during August. But I also have to say that there is a stronger part of me (call it foolish or reckless if you like - but I call it faith!) that believes wholeheartedly that God has called me into this situation and that He will provide for our needs.

Last night I bit the bullet, in faith, that God will provide for our needs and booked the Ferry from Dover to Calais.

From where I'm sitting it does look like God is calling me into a Tent Making ministry. From where I'm sitting God is saying "I will provide for all your needs." Watch this space! I'll keep you posted.